How to Let Go of Someone - The Trick to Releasing Someone From Your Heart

Letting go of someone after heartbreak, a toxic relationship, or divorce is one of the hardest things you will ever do — and the reason it feels impossible is because you are trying to solve the wrong problem. Trauma recovery specialist Kenny Weiss walks you through a five-step process rooted in the Authentic Self Cycle™ (Truth → Responsibility → Healing → Forgiveness) that breaks the obsession loop and sets you free.

Kenny Weiss explains why you cannot let go of someone by figuring them out. The obsessive loop — replaying what was real, what was not, and what they were thinking — is your survival persona's way of avoiding a deeper truth. The real reason you are stuck is not because of what they did. It is because you have not yet faced the truth about the part you played by choosing to stay, ignoring red flags, and allowing poor behavior. This is not blame — it is the doorway to freedom.

According to trauma recovery coach Kenny Weiss, the five steps to letting go of someone are: (1) Love the memories without loving the person — separate what you felt from who they are; (2) Truth — acknowledge that you chose this person and played a part in the dynamic; (3) Responsibility — recognize that nobody treats you poorly unless you allow it, and you trained them by staying; (4) Healing — do the deep work on your childhood patterns, codependency, and survival persona that led you into this relationship; (5) Forgiveness — forgive yourself first for being human and imperfect, and from that place, forgiveness for them naturally follows.

Kenny Weiss teaches that obsessing over someone after a breakup is a form of self-abandonment. When you make it all about them — their motives, their lies, their behavior — you avoid looking at yourself. The Worst Day Cycle™ keeps you stuck in victimhood, blame, and denial. Breaking free requires moving into the Authentic Self Cycle™: facing truth about your own patterns, taking responsibility without shame, doing the healing work on the childhood wounds that attracted this dynamic, and arriving at genuine forgiveness that releases both of you.

Trauma recovery specialist Kenny Weiss shares his personal experience of nearly taking his own life trying to figure out whether his second marriage was real. The breakthrough came when he realized he could love the memories without loving the person. Both of his ex-wives are now dedicated in his books — not because the marriages worked, but because the pain forced him into the truth, responsibility, and healing work that set him free. That is the promise of this process: you do not just let go of someone, you reclaim yourself.

0:00 — Why letting go of someone feels impossible

0:30 — Step 1: Love the memories, not the person

2:40 — Step 2: Truth — they are not to blame, you chose

5:00 — Step 3: Taking responsibility for your choices

7:01 — Step 4: The healing work — breaking old patterns

10:37 — Step 5: Forgiveness — the final release

12:31 — What freedom after letting go really feels like

13:05 — Recap: The 5 steps to let go

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