The 7 Ways We Attract a Narcissist

7 Reasons You're Attracting Narcissists & How To Stop

Nobody wants to hear this — but it's the truth that will set you free: if you keep ending up with narcissists, the problem isn't just them. You are the other half of the dynamic. Not because you're to blame. Because your childhood trauma created an emotional blueprint that seeks out the exact pain you grew up with and calls it chemistry. That electric connection? That butterflies feeling? That's your brain saying "this person will let me relive my childhood trauma." And until you face that, you'll keep choosing the same person in a different body.

Kenny Weiss — trauma recovery specialist and creator of the Worst Day Cycle™, Authentic Self Cycle™, and Emotional Authenticity Method™ — breaks down the 7 characteristics of what he calls the "underempowered narcissist" — the side of the dynamic nobody talks about. This isn't victim blaming. This is Kenny sharing his own story and showing you the part you play so you can finally stop the cycle.

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:

0:00 — How narcissists are created (and how you were too)

1:01 — Overempowered vs. underempowered: two sides of the same trauma

3:10 — How attraction works: your brain seeks what it knows

4:15 — Why "chemistry" and butterflies are red flags

5:01 — Why safe people feel boring to you

7:04 — Reason #1: You saw the red flags and ignored them

10:01 — Reason #2: You think you can fix them

11:29 — Reason #3: You're obsessed with figuring them out

12:15 — Reason #4: You try to control their behavior

13:01 — Reason #5: You become a chameleon

15:43 — Reason #6: You keep going back and keep blaming them

17:03 — The dual victimization: both sides are doing it

20:00 — Not to blame AND responsible

21:15 — Reason #7: We won't take ownership

23:21 — Stop playing the victim and go get help

24:30 — Two solutions: trauma recovery + codependency education

WHAT IS THE WORST DAY CYCLE™?

The Worst Day Cycle™ is the unconscious loop driving this entire dynamic: Trauma → Fear → Shame → Denial. Your childhood trauma created a survival persona — the adapted wounded child who controls from the underempowered position. You chase the narcissist to avoid facing your own unhealed pain. You play victim to avoid responsibility. The cycle keeps spinning because denial makes it invisible.

WHAT IS THE AUTHENTIC SELF CYCLE™?

The exit: Truth → Responsibility → Healing → Forgiveness. Truth means admitting you played a part. Responsibility means owning it without shame. Healing means addressing the childhood trauma that created the attraction. Forgiveness means releasing yourself for not knowing what you didn't know — and choosing differently now that you do.

WHAT IS THE EMOTIONAL AUTHENTICITY METHOD™?

Five steps to interrupt the pattern: (1) Somatic Down-Regulation — calm your nervous system before reacting to the pull. (2) What am I feeling right now? (3) Where in my body do I feel it? (4) What is my earliest memory of this feeling? This is where you discover the "chemistry" is childhood trauma repeating. (5) Who would I be if I never had this feeling again?

WHO IS THIS VIDEO FOR?

Anyone who keeps choosing narcissistic partners. Adults who see the red flags and ignore them every time. People who've left a narcissist and ended up with another one. Anyone who's been told they're an empath and is ready to hear the deeper truth about the disempowered victim position. You're not broken — you're running a program. Everything else treats symptoms. Kenny treats the blueprint.

TOPICS COVERED:

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