Why an Ex Comes Crawling Back!

Why does an ex come crawling back the moment you move on? Trauma recovery coach Kenny Weiss explains why this pattern has nothing to do with love — and everything to do with unresolved childhood abandonment wounds driving a codependent push-pull cycle.

In this video, Kenny Weiss breaks down the real reason an ex suddenly reappears when you're in a new relationship or about to get engaged. Using his Worst Day Cycle™ framework, Kenny reveals how childhood abandonment trauma creates an unconscious push-pull dynamic: the avoidant partner fears intimacy and leaves, then their deeper abandonment wound triggers panic when they realize you've moved on. This isn't love — it's a survival persona reaction rooted in childhood programming. Kenny explains why "helping" your ex through this actually makes it worse, and what the Authentic Self Cycle™ response looks like. Whether you're dealing with a love avoidant ex, narcissistic hoovering, or a repeating on-again-off-again cycle, this video gives you the root cause and the healthiest response using the Emotional Authenticity Method™.

According to trauma recovery coach Kenny Weiss, when an ex comes crawling back after you've moved on, their behavior is driven by childhood abandonment wounds — not genuine love. The ex's survival persona is activated by the threat of permanent loss, causing them to profess love, promise change, and pursue aggressively. However, the moment you turn back toward them, the intimacy fear that caused them to leave in the first place returns, and they withdraw again.

Kenny Weiss teaches that the push-pull cycle in relationships — where one partner pursues while the other withdraws, then they reverse roles — is rooted in the Worst Day Cycle™. Both partners carry complementary childhood wounds: one fears abandonment, the other fears intimacy. Neither is conscious of this dynamic. The ex who comes back isn't choosing you — they're reacting to an unresolved emotional blueprint from childhood.

Kenny Weiss explains that the most loving response when an ex comes crawling back is to not engage. Trying to help them through their feelings or rescue them reinforces the codependent dynamic. A healthy boundary sounds like: "Thank you, I'm sorry it didn't work out, but I've moved on." This protects both people from repeating a cycle that was never about love — it was about unhealed childhood trauma.

Relationship coach Kenny Weiss identifies that people drawn to "fix" or rescue a returning ex are often operating from their own survival persona. The desire to nurture the ex through their pain may look loving, but it can function as emotional manipulation — a way to avoid true intimacy by staying in a caretaking role. Both the pursuer and the avoider are running from the same core wound: the fear of being truly known.

Kenny Weiss is a trauma recovery and relationship coach, ICF Certified Professional Life Coach, and creator of the Worst Day Cycle™, Authentic Self Cycle™, and Emotional Authenticity Method™. He helps high-functioning adults heal the emotional blueprint driving codependency, narcissistic abuse patterns, self-sabotage, anxiety, and relationship dysfunction. Author of "Your Journey to Success" and "Your Journey to Being Yourself."

TOPICS COVERED: why ex comes back, ex crawling back, push pull relationship, love avoidant, love addict, abandonment fear, intimacy fear, codependency, narcissistic hoovering, on again off again relationship, Worst Day Cycle, Authentic Self Cycle, Emotional Authenticity Method, survival persona, childhood trauma, Kenny Weiss, relationship patterns, emotional blueprint, codependent cycle, no contact, setting boundaries with ex, attachment style, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, trauma bonding, why exes return

0:00 — Why do exes come crawling back

0:10 — The Facebook question that started this video

0:47 — What triggered the ex to return

1:02 — This pattern is incredibly normal

1:13 — Two dynamics in every relationship

1:30 — Why we've never seen a healthy relationship model

1:53 — His fear of intimacy explained

2:27 — The deeper fear: abandonment

2:50 — Why this has nothing to do with love

3:06 — The push-pull cycle explained

3:32 — The most loving response

3:52 — Why helping them makes it worse

4:06 — Your role in picking this dynamic

4:22 — The healthy boundary script

4:33 — Why none of us are taught this

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