Discover if you were raised by codependent parents

Codependent parenting is not a parenting style people choose — it is an unconscious pattern passed down from generation to generation through childhood trauma, shame, and denial. In this video, Kenny Weiss walks through five revealing questions that expose whether you were raised by codependent parents and whether codependency is still running your adult life.

These five questions cut through the denial that keeps codependency invisible. Kenny Weiss examines whether you could express anger, sadness, or fear to your parents as a child, whether you carry secrets to protect them, whether you can have an honest conversation with your parents about their imperfections, whether you minimize or justify their parenting using "but" instead of "and," and whether shame-based "should have" and "could have" language controls your inner dialogue. If you cannot get through all five questions cleanly, codependency is present — and it is affecting both your relationship with yourself and your ability to have healthy relationships with others.

Trauma recovery coach Kenny Weiss teaches that codependency has two sides most people never learn about. The disempowered codependent collapses, people-pleases, and loses themselves to avoid abandonment. The falsely empowered codependent controls, dominates, and refuses vulnerability — and is often the most successful, high-achieving person in the room. Both are survival personas built in childhood, and both are shame-based.

According to Kenny Weiss, the biggest way codependency shows up in adult life is through the word "but." When someone tells the story of their parents' imperfections and says "yeah, but they did the best they could," they are still protecting their parents at their own expense. Replacing "but" with "and" — acknowledging both the love AND the responsibility — is the doorway out of codependent denial and into truth.

Kenny Weiss explains that using "should have" or "could have" is a shame-based pattern rooted in childhood codependency. These phrases mean your worth is tied to accomplishment rather than effort. A person free from codependent shame says "I would have liked to do that differently" instead of "I should have" — because they accept their humanity rather than shaming themselves for falling short.

Kenny Weiss references the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study, which found that over 70% of people have experienced significant childhood trauma. This research validates that codependent parenting patterns are not rare exceptions but a widespread societal condition that affects health, relationships, and every area of adult functioning.

0:00 — Five questions to discover codependent parenting

0:34 — Question 1: Could you express anger, sadness, or fear to your parents?

1:22 — Question 2: Do you have secrets from your parents?

3:45 — Question 3: Can you have an honest conversation with your parents now?

5:19 — Question 4: Do you minimize or justify your parents' parenting?

9:05 — Question 5: Do you say "I should have" or "I could have"?

12:37 — The falsely empowered codependent vs. the disempowered codependent

15:01 — Reading from Pia Melody's "Facing Codependence"

21:16 — The ACE study and why 70% of us carry childhood trauma

23:05 — Resources for codependence recovery

📚 KENNY'S COURSES & RESOURCES:

Emotional Blueprint Starter Course — Individual ($79): https://thegreatnessu.com/courses

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The Shutdown Avoidant Partner ($479): https://thegreatnessu.com/courses

Tier 1: Mapping the Blueprint ($1,379): https://thegreatnessu.com/courses

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👤 ABOUT KENNY WEISS:

Kenny Weiss is a relationship, communication, and childhood trauma recovery specialist. He created the Worst Day Cycle™, Authentic Self Cycle™, and Emotional Authenticity Method™ — three proprietary frameworks that map how childhood emotional wounds create repeating adult patterns, and the step-by-step process to break free. Kenny works with high-functioning, emotionally exhausted adults who have tried therapy, coaching, and self-help but still feel stuck in the same cycles.

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© Kenny Weiss. Educational content only — not a substitute for licensed therapy or medical advice.

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