Abandonment

Addiction

anger

Authentic Self Cycle

Boundaries

Codependence

Communication

Denial

Emotional Authenticity

Emotional Blueprint

Emotional Fitness

Emotional Regulation

Empath

Enmeshment

Fear

Guilt

Healing Trauma

Mental Health

Mindset

narcississm

Narcissist

Neurofeedback

Parenting

People Pleasing

Perfectionism

Relationships

Self Sabotage

Self-deception

Self-Doubt

Self-Esteem

Self-Love

Self-Worth

Shame

Stress

Survival Persona

Trauma Bonding

Trauma Recovery

Uncategorized

Worst Day Cycle

This Best Day Blog article and accompanying video is an analysis of the happenings that took place in the Netflix docu-series <a href="https://youtu.be/qqdzsrITjvA">Bad Vegan - Fame. Fraud. Fugitives.</a>\n\nIn this article, I will be discussing what created the attraction between the ‘meat suit’. Otherwise known as Anthony Strangis, and the bad vegan, Sarma Melngailis. Having this information will allow you to protect yourself from falling for a ‘meat suit’ yourself! Throughout the article I’ll be sharing lots of helpful resources so that you can gain the knowledge, skills, and tools that you need so that you don’t ever fall prey to a situation like this.\n<h3><strong>What creates a ‘meat suit’ and what creates the vegan who is attracted to them?</strong></h3>\nFor those who haven’t yet watched the documentary, the ‘meat suit’ is what Strangis calls his human form, his vessel. He believes he is a ‘non-human’ and that his body is simply here as a physical representation of himself - his meat suit. I will refer to him as the ‘meat suit’ from here on out.\n\nWhat created the personality of the meat suit, though? Well, it is something I call <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOKbwXgOsMo_FdIL2IeMb_fMWQBeqz0SL">The Worst Day Cycle</a>. The <a href="http://kennyweiss.net/how-to-heal-the-worst-day-cycle-part-4/">Worst Day Cycle</a> explains how we end up in relationships like these. Furthermore, it explains how we fall short in reaching our potential. If you would like to learn the full process and how it is operating in your life because yes, it is operating in all of our lives, I discuss it at length in my book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Your-Journey-Success-Answers-Discover/dp/1981471014/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&amp;qid=&amp;sr=">‘Your Journey to Success’</a>. Your cycle may not be as extreme as what was portrayed in Bad Vegan, but everybody on this planet is caught living in <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOKbwXgOsMo_FdIL2IeMb_fMWQBeqz0SL">The Worst Day Cycle</a>.\n<h2><strong>What is the Worst Day Cycle (WDC)?</strong></h2>\nOn my YouTube channel, I have a 5-part video series which takes you through the WDC called ‘<a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOKbwXgOsMo_FdIL2IeMb_fMWQBeqz0SL">Reclaim Your Authentic Self</a> By Becoming Trauma Informed. You will find that series within my WDC playlist.\n\nThe <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOKbwXgOsMo_FdIL2IeMb_fMWQBeqz0SL">WDC</a> consists of four parts, trauma, fear, shame and denial. This might be hard to swallow but every single one of us experiences trauma in childhood - this is unavoidable. For the <a href="https://youtu.be/qqdzsrITjvA">Meat Suit in Bad Vegan</a> he experienced significant neglect and abandonment from his father who often took him gambling when he was a child. He and his mother were also held hostage and he watched as his father held a gun to her head. While many of us do not experience this level of trauma. We do experience emotional injuries from our perfectly imperfect caregivers.\n<h2><strong>Worst Day Cycle</strong></h2>\nFor Sarma the <a href="https://youtu.be/qqdzsrITjvA">‘Bad Vegan’</a>, she experienced her parents divorcing at 9 years old which is a difficult experience for anyone to go through and her sister, with all best intention, took on a protective role for her, often talking for Sarma and becoming her voice - this is also what happened in the relationship with Anthony - he became her voice. Sarma ended up playing the prisoner just as she had as a child and therefore subconsciously looked for this in her partners. Someone who could talk for her and ‘protect’ her - the trauma cycle repeats.\n\nMany people don’t realize that they’ve experienced trauma in their childhoods. They believe they are completely recovered from it, but most often this isn’t the case. My video ‘<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS6TWmBWYQQ">The Wounded Inner Child’</a> will help you to understand more about this. When you are living in denial and not accepting that your childhood was less than perfect. You can’t recover or prevent similar events like those that took place in ‘Bad Vegan’ from happening.\n<h3><strong>Worst Day Cycle</strong></h3>\nWhen we go through these emotional and traumatic experiences our brain actually becomes emotionally addicted to the explosion of fear chemicals and hormones that are released - we become addicted to the trauma - my video on ‘<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AVo6J0tsVo&amp;t=1729s">The Tinder Swindler</a>’ goes into this phenomena in some depth. Because we have been conditioned to minimize and suppress our fears, we are all stuck in it. We’ve never been taught the <a href="https://thegreatnessu.com/p/the-complete-emotional-mastery-audible-journey">Emotional Authenticity Method</a> I teach to cope with these difficult emotional life experiences.\n\nThere is a great deal of work in science, medicine and society that has taken place around emotions because we now know that, actually, emotions do run our lives - not our intellect. Emotions come first - every thought we have starts with a feeling, and because we haven’t developed the Emotional Authenticity that we need, our brains automatically replay the unhealed emotions from the past when we experience new things or things that subconsciously trigger the same feelings we experienced as children.\n<h3><strong>The Third Stage</strong></h3>\nThe third stage of the cycle is shame. As a child we must physically and emotionally connect to another human being to survive. Therefore when our parents are imperfect and create emotional injuries inside of us. We adapt and create a false persona to fit in. It is a survival mechanism to protect ourselves. Because it happens so young, we believe it is the real “us”. This loss of the authentic self creates a power vacuum. Shame is ultimately a power dynamic. We use this deep shame core as adults to regain our power. How do we do that? By choosing hobbies, friends, careers and relationships that mirror the injuries of our childhood. We do this because even though we have been hurt, who is responsible for the hurt? Ourselves, we CHOSE, this person place or thing.  The overwhelming truth that we are responsible for our self-victimization send us into denial.\n<h3><strong>About Denial</strong></h3>\nDenial is the single greatest killer on the planet today. He is the main reason you don’t have the relationship, career or life you want. This is exactly what Sarma was caught in - the shame and denial portions of the cycle. She kept going back, choosing to re-victimize herself (shame) by denying the abuse and lies that were right in front of her. Not because she is a bad person but because as a society we don’t teach about <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOKbwXgOsMo_FdIL2IeMb_fMWQBeqz0SL">The Worst Day Cycle</a> or how to attain <a href="https://thegreatnessu.com/p/the-complete-emotional-mastery-audible-journey">Emotional Authenticity</a>.\n\nTo dive deeper into how denial is the single greatest killer on the planet today, I really recommend checking out my ‘<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQvKD1Nt_-E&amp;list=PLOKbwXgOsMo-mrYel1WCHG7JYRSEl-hYU">Self-Deception/Denial</a>’ playlist on YouTube so you can learn how your denial is affecting your life and begin the healing journey.\n\n<a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOKbwXgOsMo_FdIL2IeMb_fMWQBeqz0SL">The Worst Day Cycle</a> is incredibly powerful. People often think that these sorts of experiences can only happen to people who aren’t smart or are defective in some way, but Sarma was a very clever woman. It happens to all of us. Many people find this very difficult to accept - that even the ‘victim’ could be responsible for bad things happening to them, but learning to accept responsibility for this is the only way to heal. Sarma wanted money, she wanted her dog to be saved and she made the choice to stay. She did these things because of The Worst Day Cycle and her lack of <a href="https://thegreatnessu.com/p/the-complete-emotional-mastery-audible-journey">Emotional Authenticity</a>.\n<h3><strong>Resources and links to help you</strong></h3>\nWe must become an expert in the worst day cycle and how trauma, fear, shame and denial operate in our lives. My book ‘<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Your-Journey-Success-Answers-Discover/dp/1981471014/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&amp;qid=&amp;sr=">Your Journey to Success’</a> goes through this in detail.\n\nIf you would like to start your healing journey then sign up to my free masterclass ‘<a href="https://thegreatnessu.com/p/your-journey-to-emotional-mastery">Your Journey to Emotional Authenticity</a>.' Learning my Emotional Authenticity method does not take long and you will see very quickly how much better your life becomes and when you have the knowledge, skills, and tools, how easy it is to avoid being eaten by a meat suit!\n<h3><strong>Are you looking for more solutions? Pick the one that suits your needs best!</strong></h3>\n<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Your-Journey-Success-Answers-Discover/dp/1981471014/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&amp;qid=1650902988&amp;sr=8-1">1- My Book, Your Journey To Success</a>\n<a href="https://thegreatnessu.com/p/the-complete-emotional-mastery-method">2- My Complete Emotional Authenticity Method</a>\n<a href="#">3- My Perfectly Imperfect Private Group</a>\n<a href="https://calendly.com/kennyweiss/single-session-350">4- My Private Coaching</a>\n\n<strong>To learn more watch this:</strong>\n<figure class="kg-card kg-embed-card"><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/qqdzsrITjvA?feature=oembed" width="200" height="113" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure>

The Bad Vegan and The Worst Day Cycle

In Part IV, we will cover the most prevalent fear of all, the fear of powerlessness. I will explain the three signs of experiencing a period of powerlessness and the solutions to get through them.\n\nSo, what is fear powerlessness, and where does it come from? Well, it comes from attachment. You see, we are the only species on this planet where we must be physically and emotionally attached to another human being, or we will die; our survival depends on it. There are many moments in childhood where our sense of self, what I call our authenticity, is challenged. In other words, our parents imparted their views on us. For instance, so many of us heard things like, "If you don't stop crying, I will give you something to really cry about!" Or, "Children are to be seen and not heard." Comments like these make it clear we cannot express our authentic selves. But, of course, we could not prevent these events, and that's where we learned the fear of powerlessness for the first time.\n<h5><strong>What are the three signs that we are experiencing the fear of powerlessness? </strong></h5>\nThe first sign is that we focus on what we can't control and not what we can control. For example, we are having money trouble, and we spend all day long worrying, "Oh my Gosh, I'm going to go broke and be on the street!" Instead of focusing on a solution. We are stuck reliving the problem, just like when we were a child, believing we have no recourse to defend ourselves. As a result, we find ourselves stuck in the powerless, childlike state, the victim-side of the problem.\n\nThe second sign is that we're giving ourselves away, and going against our morals, values, needs, and wants negotiable's, and non-negotiables. I will share a story about a client of mine to show how this works. He's a mortgage guy and gives out gifts to his clients. This week, he came in with some gift ideas; he found someone who sells these nice designer knives. He thought that might be a neat gift. Well, the salesperson was a woman who kept pressuring him to buy. Finally, he started getting afraid and started to back off. I already know his story. His mother controlled every feeling, every action he ever took.\n\nAs he tells the story, he is not aware that the pushy saleswoman is triggering memories of his mother, which is why he wants to back off. So he tells her, <em>"I need to talk this over with my wife."</em> He then goes to his wife and asks her, <em>"Hey, I have an idea about these designer knives. What do you think?" </em>She immediately says, <em>"No."</em> I asked him, <em>"So, what did you do?"</em> He says, <em>"Oh, I didn't do it."</em> I asked him, <em>"Did you see what just happened?</em>".\n\nHe was just in a position with two women, and he gave himself away. His morals and values were in line with the knives being a great gift. It was his need and want to share that gift with his clients. It was negotiable and the right thing to do for him. Instead of honoring himself, he acted just like he had as a child and repeated his fear of powerlessness. He gave himself away to please the woman in his life (now his wife) and never realized he was acting just like he did as a child.\n\nThe final way powerlessness expresses itself is the inability to say no. Most people can't say no to others because they feel it's rude, think it's mean, or selfish. This belief originated in childhood because, in essence, we could never say no to our parents. This leaves us feeling that we are selfish or bad if we think of ourselves or that all we're ever supposed to do are things for other people.\n<h5><strong>What is the solution?</strong></h5>\nThe first thing to do is to make two lists. On one, we list all of the people, places, and things we can't control. We can't control people's actions, choices, or feelings, nor can we control how the world works. But I can control my thoughts, my feelings, and my actions. I am responsible for everything I do, and those items go on the second list. We do this so that when we are stuck in the self victimizing powerless state of thinking.\n\n"Oh my Gosh! I'm going to go broke." Next, we can switch to questions that empower us and focus on what we can control. Questions like, "how can I make money?  What are my options? What can I control?" I can reach out to previous clients, check-in, and see how they're doing in my situation. They might respond, "Oh my Gosh! My husband and I just got in a fight. Can we come and see you?" I have just generated a solution and empowered myself by focusing on what I can control and not what I can't control.\n\nThe second solution is to define my morals, values, needs, wants, negotiables, and non-negotiables. This works because we go through every area of our life, friendships, relationships, career, hobbies, spirituality, and every aspect of our life. Such as, do you believe in monogamy? Do you think you're supposed to live together before you get married? Is it okay to have sex before marriage or wait until marriage? Do you want to have sex once a week, once a year, once a day? Sadly, most people don't know their morals, values, needs, and wants and just relive what their parents told them to believe. No wonder so many people feel powerless.\n\nThe second solution is learning the criteria for when to say no. The key is a shift in what it means to be kind and loving. Most relationships, whether they're business or personal, end with both sides lamenting, "I did this for them, and they never gave me that." In other words, both feel they were the giving one, and it wasn't returned. So what does that tell you? All of those things we're doing are in the hopes that we get something in return. To put it bluntly, that means we have all been taught to do things for others to manipulate, getting something in return. That's not doing something for someone else out of kindness or love because unless it is returned, we're going to make them pay for it. That is how we make ourselves powerless.\n\nTherefore, before we ever say yes to anyone for anything, we need to ask ourselves these three questions:\n\n1.) Am I going to keep score?\n\n2.) Am I going to throw it in their face?\n\n3.) Will this ever lead to resentment?\n\nIf we think any of those things will happen, we need to say no! Otherwise, we're going to throw it back in their face, and we'll realize we gave our power away.\n\nIf you have a hard time saying the word no, I will share a magic phrase that works every time.  Instead of saying no, you can just say, <em>"That doesn't work for me."</em> It is magic because they can't argue with that. Let me show you. They might say things like,<em> "What do you mean it doesn't work for?" </em>You just say, <em>"Well, it just doesn't work for me."</em> They may ask, <em>"So what part of it doesn't work for you?" </em>You can reaffirm, <em>"It just doesn't work for me."</em> You don't have to explain yourself because you're no longer a child. We don't have to defend why we don't want to do something. It is enough that it just doesn't work for us. It gives us complete ownership and prevents us from giving ourselves away. Taking responsibility is empowering. So, there are your solutions to the fear of powerlessness.\n\nI will combine these concepts and tie them up with a bow in <a href="http://kennyweiss.net/how-to-stop-stress-step-5-2/">Part 5</a>. So, don't miss the final segment of this 5 Part Series on <a href="http://kennyweiss.net/how-to-stop-stress-step-5-2/">how to stop the stress</a>!\n<h5><strong>Are you looking for more solutions? Pick the one that suits your needs best!</strong></h5>\n<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Your-Journey-Success-Answers-Discover/dp/1981471014/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&amp;qid=1650902988&amp;sr=8-1">1- My Book, Your Journey To Success</a>\n<a href="https://thegreatnessu.com/p/the-complete-emotional-mastery-method">2- My Complete Emotional Authenticity Method</a>\n<a href="#">3- My Perfectly Imperfect Private Group</a>\n<a href="https://calendly.com/kennyweiss/single-session-350">4- My Private Coaching</a>\n\nLearn more here:\n<figure class="kg-card kg-embed-card"><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/3Mnv-A57K_A?feature=oembed" width="200" height="113" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure>\n&nbsp;

How To Stop Stress | Step 4

In Part III of this 5-part series to stop stress, we will cover what causes the fear of inadequacy, the main signs, and the solutions to getting out of the fear of inadequacy.\n<h3><strong>What causes the fear of inadequacy?</strong></h3>\nIn those moments when we're stressed and afraid, what we're fearing is that we don't feel we have the skills, tools, or knowledge to do something.  This fear originated in childhood when we were told directly or indirectly that we were somehow incapable of doing something. For many of us, we were left with the feeling that we might be stupid or not "enough."\n\nDue to our parent's perfect imperfection, their lack of recognition when we were in our developmental stages is detrimental. I know for me, inadequacy was born with my father. I'll never forget, I was great in math, so my dad used to say, "You're going to be an engineer just like me!" But then, once I got into theory, algebra, and geometry, I just couldn't do it. I'll never forget the look on my dad's face while helping me with homework!  I could see his disappointment in me when he looked at me and said, "don't you get it?". So I felt so stupid, so inadequate, and I thought, "God, I'm letting my father down! I am just not good enough for him." But, you see, my father didn't directly say I was stupid; it was the look on his face—the incredulous tone he used to talk to me that sent that message. Therefore our current stress is pain from our past being brought forth and relived in the present moment. So, think through your own life; where were you sent those messages?\n<h3><strong>What is the most common way the fear of inadequacy is expressed?</strong></h3>\nProcrastination is the most common way the fear of inadequacy is expressed. We avoid a task because we ultimately don't want to experience that inadequate feeling again. Personally, I relive this experience when it comes to marketing my business. I don't enjoy the process, so I choose not to learn how to do it well. If we lack the knowledge, skills, and tools to do something, the chances are highly likely that we won't do it well.\n<h3><strong>How do we overcome the fear of inadequacy?</strong></h3>\n<h4>First Step:</h4>\nThe first step is to identify the source. We accomplish that by making a list of all the feelings that arise whenever we consider learning something new. Then we trace the feelings back to our first experience. What you're going to find is that they go back to a childhood moment where a parent, a teacher, a football coach, or someone you know said directly or indirectly, "you're stupid, you're wrong, or you're dumb." Or their expressions, their attitude, and nonverbal communication expressed that sentiment. With this new awareness, we can recognize that procrastinating to learn a new skill or do something new isn't that we are afraid of learning this new skill or new experience. It's that we don't want to relive the feeling of inadequacy. Therefore the solution is to heal the root experience causing the feeling.\n<h4>Second Step:</h4>\nThe second step requires us to contemplate who's voice it is so we can give the shame they placed in us back to them! For me, when it comes up in my life, I picture myself right there doing homework. As children, we can't talk back to our parents, but I imagine myself at that moment looking up at my father, saying, "Dad, I love you, but you can't talk to me that way; it really hurts me. Can you give me the help that I need and talk to me in a way that's more kind and loving?" Then, the feeling - I give it back, I protect myself, and say, "No, dad, this doesn't work for me, this is yours." It is a reparenting of ourselves, and we regather our self-esteem, which we lost.\n<h4>Third Step:</h4>\nFinally, the third step to overcome and stop stress inadequacy fears is to become an expert. To learn about the topics you don't currently possess, the adequate knowledge, skills, and tools. Studies show that the act of learning is a great way to shift our subconscious, generate a new neural pathway and create a new empowering feeling experience.\n\nNow you have a three-step process to conquer inadequacy. Next, I will be sharing the solutions to the fear of powerlessness. I hope you are enjoying the journey to stop your stress! Here is <a href="http://kennyweiss.net/how-to-stop-stress-step-4-2/">part 4 related to stop stress.</a>\n<h5><strong>Are you looking for more solutions? Pick the one that suits your needs best!</strong></h5>\n<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Your-Journey-Success-Answers-Discover/dp/1981471014/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&amp;qid=1650902988&amp;sr=8-1">1- My Book, Your Journey To Success</a>\n<a href="https://thegreatnessu.com/p/the-complete-emotional-mastery-method">2- My Complete Emotional Authenticity Method</a>\n<a href="#">3- My Perfectly Imperfect Private Group</a>\n<a href="https://calendly.com/kennyweiss/single-session-350">4- My Private Coaching</a>\n\nLearn more here:\n<figure class="kg-card kg-embed-card"><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/4yFhUEiEv1k?feature=oembed" width="200" height="113" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure>

How To Stop Stress | Step 3

Abandonment anxiety is a childhood trauma response, not a personality flaw. The Emotional Authenticity Method™ rewires the fear of being left at its root.

Abandonment Anxiety Explained | Kenny Weiss

Abandonment Anxiety: Why Your Fear of Being Left Is a Childhood Trauma Response

https://cms.kennyweiss.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/How-To-Stop-Stress-step-2.jpeg

Home

cms.kennyweiss.net

https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/6f5e5ce642be71249a1c07d7a788bb9c1000bbf0f8243cf671f777aadf53b839?s=96&d=mm&r=g

Kenny Weiss

Abandonment

The Bad Vegan and The Worst Day Cycle

How To Stop Stress | Step 4

How To Stop Stress | Step 3

Abandonment Anxiety: Why Your Fear of Being Left Is a Childhood Trauma Response

What Others Are Saying