We all have moments in our lives where we feel unbalanced – so today, I’m sharing the seven steps to get the balance back in your life. I’m also going to discuss the science behind why I’ve chosen these steps, so make sure to read to the end.
The first question to ask is: what is a lack of balance? This awareness leads right into step 1.
- Go to my website and get the Feelings Wheel – I provide a free download. Over the next several days, use it to keep track of your feelings. I suggest stopping five times a day and asking yourself what you are feeling. Sensitive, trusting, indignant, etc. Whatever it is, you may be feeling? The first step in this process is to become aware and to do that. We must track what we feel.
- Ask yourself where in your body you feel this feeling? Is it your neck, shoulders, chest, or stomach? Make a note of that.
- Ask yourself what happened just before you felt unbalanced. If you’ve felt it for a while, what happened a day or two before that? If it’s just this moment, what triggered it? Make a note of that.
- Ask yourself how do you respond once you start feeling unbalanced. Ask yourself five questions: Did I sabotage myself? Did I get needy or manipulative? Did I do the opposite, shut down and run away? What coping skill did I use to help medicate this unbalance away (work, relationships, etc.)? Make a note of what’s positive and negative.
- Ask yourself when your earliest recollection was of having this feeling of unbalance? You’ll draw not only on the feelings you categorized but also where you feel it in your body. Once you see the earliest instance, you will see the repetition, triggers, and common responses.
- Ask yourself how you are repeating this thought and feeling? Now you can see how the imbalance has shown up repeatedly in your life. More importantly, you have just discovered something I call The Worst Day Cycle. We all repeat the pain from the past until we heal it.
- Now that you’ve gained awareness become an expert in healing the feelings of imbalance that have plagued us all for days, years, and decades.
Now I’m going to dive into the science of why learning this process is so important.
Our subconscious is formed in childhood, and it is made up of the most intensely emotional experiences we have. Modern science shows that 70% of all messages we received in childhood (whether from family, friends, teachers, coaches, etc.) are negative, disempowering, and self-sabotaging. These experiences create an emotional chemical addiction in our brain and body. Add in what we have all been taught about emotions? Don’t have them, don’t talk about them, don’t deal with them. Now you can begin to see why you repeatedly feel unbalanced emotionally.
It becomes even more evident when we acknowledge how the brain works.
Because it takes tremendous energy for our brain to do anything, it is constantly seeking to conserve energy. Its solution is to repeat what it already “knows” by reliving what has been placed in the subconscious. Our brain repeating what it knows is a problem because remember what has been placed in the subconscious? The most emotional experiences we have from childhood– 70% of which were negative, disempowering, and self-sabotaging. If you have pursued CBT, thinking positive, or any thought-based solution and haven’t achieved much success, now you know why. To bring balance into our lives, trying to change our thoughts won’t help. Modern science shows almost every thought we have starts with a feeling. We need emotional mastery.
Negative Childhood Experiences
Finally, because of our negative childhood experiences and the brain’s design, studies show that we are not present in 95% of our daily lives as an adult. Daily our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are just the subconscious patterns our brain learned in childhood. We think we are in the moment and making decisions, but we’re not. Our brain is inherently biased to repeat the same negative, disempowering, and self-sabotaging messages we received as a child. We all are completely unaware that our pain from our childhood is still running our adult lives.
Now you can see the value of the seven questions I gave you. They bring science to life and prove to ourselves why we have repeated the same negative, thoughts feelings, and behaviors our whole life. As adults, all of us are reliving and replaying the painful moments from our childhood. We are all stuck in The Worst Day Cycle.
Sadly, because we have consistently downplayed emotions and the impact of our childhood, most are completely unaware that they are stuck in pain from the past. This lack of teaching and awareness has us all living a life out of balance.
The solution is to become an expert in healing the pain from the past. The first step is to create a new emotional and chemical addiction in our brain and body to replace what was implanted in our subconscious. Our brains need a new “known.”
If you want the entire process, I lay out how to achieve this awareness, shift and heal those feelings and create a new “known” in the subconscious brain in my book, Your Journey To Success, and my online courses.
Enjoy The Journey� 😁
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