Many of us are afraid of change. Whether it’s a new job, a new relationship, or even going to the grocery store for the first time in months. In today’s Best Day Blog article and attached video, I will show you how to embrace the fear of change in three simple steps!
Why do we fear change?
Anything that we haven’t seen, tasted, touched, felt, or smelled before will instantly trigger the fear response. This means that any time there is a change or you want to try something new; it is normal to be somewhat afraid. We will all have the fight or flight response triggered when we face new experiences. There’s nothing we can do to stop this natural reaction from happening. However, there are many things we can do to learn how to quiet fear and embrace change.
The first step to embracing change
The first thing to recognize is we all have to experience the unknown in our lives. I know this can be extremely scary, and I, myself, have many experiences of this, one of which I distinctly remember. When I turned 18 years old, I left my home in Colorado to play junior hockey in Canada. This was my first time experiencing traveling on my own and a forty-six-hour bus journey. I was leaving the comfort of what I knew, the people I knew, and the customs that I knew. I spent most of that bus ride in tears. But I knew that the only way to conquer that fear was to get on the bus and learn. I had to lean into the fear.
To overcome fear, we have to turn into fear. Importantly, our brain doesn’t know the difference between something good for us or something bad for us; all it knows is whether it knows the experience or not. If not, there will be fear. So, to embrace change, we have to turn those things we’ve never done before into a known experience – we can’t skip this step.
Fear is always ear is one of these three things:
- The fear of rejection
- The fear of inadequacy – we don’t have the skills, tools, or knowledge to do something.
- The fear of powerlessness
In my experience, I was fearful of being rejected – by new friends, by being an American in Canada, of being inadequate- not being skilled enough to play, and of being powerless – over losing old friends, my girlfriend, and the journey itself.
To learn more about the deep intricacies of fear and to overcome each one specifically, I have a 5-part series on my YouTube channel which will take you through my R.I.P. strategy. This video series provides you with a simple process to identify which fear you are experiencing and the steps to calm your fears.
Furthermore, I created a free download How To Remove Feeling Rejected which walks you through a simple ten-step process to never experience the feeling of rejection again.
How to embrace change?
Have grace for yourself and how long change takes. As adults, we all expect change to happen quickly, but I want to remind you of how long change actually takes. When I ask people how long it might take them to write a one-page essay, most reply one-three hours. I then remind them that it took them almost twelve years. I know that seems hard to believe, so let me remind you. Think about it. What’s the first thing you are taught at preschool? The alphabet! We first had to learn how to make each individual letter- the way they move and their different variations.
Then we had to learn how to combine these letters into words and their proper spelling and group words into a sentence. Punctuation and the different meanings words have when placed in different parts of the sentence. Then we move on to paragraphs, which eventually turn into stories. The stories of our lives. If you recall, it was not until you were in senior in high school that you could effectively combine all of these new tasks into a well-written essay. Therefore, remind yourself that we all start at preschool with every new challenge, no matter your age. Change takes time. Have grace for the pre-schooler in you at all times.
How to embrace change in three simple steps:
-To recognize that everything we do requires change. Fear can’t be avoided. We can’t avoid the fight or flight response. We must choose to turn towards change and fear, and by doing so, we create a known experience that quiets our fear.
-Secondly, remember that fear is always either the fear of inadequacy, rejection, or powerlessness. To learn more, you will want to watch my Youtube video series, and read the free download I mentioned above.
-Thirdly, remember to have grace with yourself. So often, as adults, we expect to be able to write the story straight away – without learning the individual letters, words, sentences, and paragraphs – we put too much pressure on ourselves to know everything. This isn’t realistic, and you wouldn’t expect a preschooler to know how to write the alphabet on the first day of school – you’d celebrate them for trying! Love and honor yourself as you would the preschooler, embrace your perfect imperfections, and embrace change.
To learn more:
Watch the video version of this article below. To gain a deep understanding of fear, check out my five-part video series on Youtube and my free download, How To Remove Feeling Rejected I mentioned above. To go even deeper, pick up a copy of my book, Your Journey, To Success. I dedicate a complete chapter to explaining what fear is. The rest of the book provides you with the process of becoming fearless.
