Do you ever feel like your partner is manipulating you? In today’s article, I will be sharing five different manipulative tactics people use in relationships. With this new understanding, you can protect yourself from manipulators.
1- They take advantage of your fairness
A perfect example of this is in a divorce where a couple tries to split things 50/50. When one side starts bringing up something that you ‘owe’ them because of X, Y, or Z, the person trying to be fair gets taken advantage of. They use that sense of fairness against you. Then, of course, they deny doing any such thing.
2- They deny and project
This looks like them explaining away their lies and deception as necessary. They will downplay what they said and say it’s “no big deal.” They might even flat out deny that what they’re doing or what they did is wrong. In the end, you start to question what actually happened – everything is now on you.
3- They will try to separate you from your family
This can happen in many ways. It can be overt, like saying, “I don’t like your family, and we’re not spending time over there.” Or they might try to convince you that your family is wrong for you. So you end up being placed in a position where you have to choose between a relationship with this person or seeing your family. If it’s not overt suggestions, it will be hints and dismissive messages.
4- They remove your skepticism
When you feel like you can’t ask them a question or bring up a topic you’re struggling with within the relationship, and you’re met with anger or derision, they remove your ability to be openly skeptical. You feel attacked for even considering needing or wanting something from them. It could be as simple as enjoying a hug or spending more time with them. And you feel this sense of impending trouble if you try. As a result, you have to walk on eggshells and can’t express yourself.
5- They play nice
They end up doing a lot for you regardless of whether or not they want to. They eventually start throwing back in your face everything they do for you and try to use that as leverage for you to do things for them. “I did X for you. Why can’t you do Y for me?” They keep score which is very codependent, manipulative, and the antithesis of unconditional love.
What is the solution?
At the heart of all this, there’s an attraction to this manipulative person. The parent who used conditional love creates the attraction as an adult. The direct or indirect messages were that we have to fit into this box, and we are no longer a part of the family if we don’t. That original abandonment is why we fall for the manipulations as an adult.
Being manipulated in a relationship is hurtful and confusing. However, on the positive side, it only requires gaining some new skills and tools to end the pain.
Are you looking for more solutions? Pick the one that suits your needs best!
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